Tag Archives: relationships

Belief Knots

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This successful, kind-hearted, young professional was distraught at the prospect of ending a two-year relationship which had become increasingly difficult. Following previous failed relationships, she wondered what was wrong with her. When she started conscious dreaming, this came through:

Y: I get a feeling of tiredness. My heart feels quite blocked. 

A: What is causing that?

Y: My mother. My mother tends to want me to be a certain way. I feel very powerless and helpless cos I cannot control her. She is doing all these for me out of love. How she shows me love and how I am starting to show my partner love is the same. Even though I didn’t like it and it makes me feel very frustrated. I have to learn to see and accept things as it is.

A: I’m just wondering whether that pattern actually got hardwired into your brain and conditioning. Go have a look.

Y: There’s a hard wiring of how love should be. I’m breaking it.

A: What else is in your head and your conditioning?

Y: I also have this belief that I cannot do it on my own. I need people around me to do it and I can’t do it on my own.

A: Where did this conditioning come from?

Y: If I do things the right way, I get love. If I do things the wrong way, there is a withdrawal of love. I feel a lot of resistance inside me, a feeling of helplessness. That I cannot do anything –  it is not within my power. My shoulders and neck feel very tight. I also feel that whatever I do I will never be good enough. I see a knot.

A: Unravel it. How do you feel now? 

Y: I feel warmth and acceptance.

Y: There’s a part of me that wants things my way. When I don’t get it, I get upset.

A: Is that another knot?

Y: It’s a double knot, it is difficult to untie. I’m tired. Slowly it’s getting untied. It’s done. And in its place, there is more space now. Unlike the other one where there is warmth and acceptance, this gives more space.

Y: I need to be perfect to be loved.

A: How does that look?

Y: It looks complicated. I do not know what it is I get scolded for, so I am not sure which is the wrong I did. So I try to be perfect. This way I will not get scolded. It was a very tough knot to undo. All done now.

Y: I feel I cannot relax. Always defensive. Need to protect myself.

A: How does that look?

Y: A braid. It’s about learning to trust. I need to learn to trust. Because I do not feel safe, I need to protect myself. I now see a bridge. It’s a very solid bridge made of brick. It is very stable. It links me to new worlds. The possibilities are opening up. I want to explore. There’s nature, garden, animals, back to innocence, back to the simple joys in life, a place where I can just be, without any expectations. I am just letting go of all the expectations and pressures put upon myself.

A: Cool, any other knots?

Y: It’s about self doubt. I need to learn to trust myself instead of beating myself up. Trust myself and trust that everything will go well. I’m holding a sword. A sword encased with jewels. There’s engraving, gold colour with jewels. Feels like I have the power, strength, stability, grounded. Feels like I am a warrior. In my heart is the love, compassion, courage, fearlessness to walk the path. Discipline. Will. The strength. Feels that I am equipped with the tools to carry on the journey. It’s going to be a fun journey.

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Dreamer’s Session Review & Takeaways

I start to see a lot of belief systems I have that are self sabotaging. It comes from my mum who is always telling me what to do, and that she knows better. I find myself doing the same thing to my partner. 

Message I got from the session – to have fun, let go, enjoy the process, and hold on to the sword which gives me strength, stability and power. And the bridge links me back to the garden where I can just be. I’m feeling more at peace – I get to bring these new tools into my life – bridge and sword. 

I see how these patterns play out in my life, it’s about me having trust and allowing myself not to be perfect. By giving permission to myself not to be perfect, I give others the permission not be perfect too. 

Ties that Bind

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brown rope tangled and formed into heart shape on brown wooden rail

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There’s a white space. I am outside looking at it. It’s a square and looks quite small. I feel as if I could step into it if I wanted to. Now inside and feels like I am floating. It’s huge, I can’t see the end. It feels nice. I am tumbling around in this space just having fun. It is not like I can walk in this space. I’m just tumbling around not going anywhere. I see a planet on the left corner. Maybe I’m just making it up.

There is a light, bluish black and I’m standing on something spherical. It feels as if I can get sucked into it. Now it feels green, like moss, softer. More like planet earth, somewhere with a lot of green, grass, green paddocks. The sky is blue.

This is weird but now it’s something like a ship. A really old sunken ship. I’m under the sea. It feels like some people in there are related to me. It feels female. She says she’s my mother. I’m trying to tell her to let me go. She doesn’t want me to. She keeps wanting me to visit the sunken ship but I don’t want to. I don’t really want to visit here anymore. She doesn’t want to leave the ship. She wants me to stay with her. She does not want to lose me. But I want to be free. I can’t leave her if she’s not okay. I keep coming back to visit her.

Is there anybody else around to take care of her?
She has the goddess of mercy.

Ask the goddess what you can do about it.
She says I have to go. It is not helping all of us. We have separate tasks. My mom has things to do but that is not my path. She keeps making me do that. I’m not strong enough to discern which path I need to take when I’m around her.
Goddess says I need to find new ways to let my mom know that I care. She says that I need to pray for my mom. Daily make a wish that she’ll be happy.

You’re feeling that you’re stuck in your present life, is this part of it?
I always feel I couldn’t explore things that I wanted to. But if I did, not just my mom but my dad would get devastated. There’ll be drama. And I am just too tired to deal with the drama. I hate the drama so I just don’t. Don’t have the energy to deal with them.

So not just release from your mom but also your dad. Can goddess help?
That’s done. Tired but relieved.

Any more things that you need to release?
My grandmother wanted me to stay. Grandma knows that she can’t have me forever but she’s just trying her luck, saying things that will make me stay. She knows I’ll leave but will know the time to come back to her side.

Goddess said I don’t communicate and that makes people very confused. I need to tell my grandmother I have to go and why I need to go but I don’t, so she doesn’t understand. She says the most compassionate thing that I can do is to allow the people who love me to know me. I need her to help me.

How will she do it?
She says when I think about her I will do it.

Can she show you your new path?
She cannot.

 

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She studied overseas and wished to remain there. However, her family insisted that she returned home upon completion to fulfill her filial responsibilities. She was in healthcare services and became severely depressed. 

Her amazing adventure and startling revelations continue in Part 2, New Brain

Where is Joy?

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This middle-aged lady wanted to know why she could never feel happy. She had tried finding answers in religion and that left her more fearful than before. This is not something that people will go seek professional assistance; having a dream session seems an interesting innovative adventure. 

There’s a cave and there are steps going up. I can see somebody sitting there. I need to bow down. His face looks familiar.

Perhaps you’d like to ask your questions?

Why am I always not happy? He says I’m always afraid. That I am trapped inside. I can’t get out like, buried alive underground.

There’s a the light, just follow that light. Because when there is light you’re not afraid of the dark. Light now on top of my head. It’s always up there, I never knew!

When you feel the light up there you can feel it all over your body as well. The body feels good. The body is getting lighter and the mind is getting clearer.

Why did she have to experience all that pain?

There is no love in her heart. She needs to love. She needs to be open. She’s closed. Always closed all the time. She lost love a long time ago. She can’t find it. She needs to open her heart.

Can the light open the heart so that she can love?

The body is all warm now. Heart opened up and the light is filling it up. Actually feel like an angel now. The light filled up my heart.

What’s her purpose?

To love herself and to love others. She always remembers her past and never lets it go.  It’s not her fault. She didn’t know. She has these people who don’t know how to love, so she doesn’t know how. She has to always remember and remember and remember to love herself, love herself and love herself.

She needs to forgive everybody, just forgive everybody. She never forgives anybody. Just remember forgive, forgive, forgive everybody.

She needs to live without guilt. Everybody have their choices. Don’t take away their choices. Don’t get so tied up with everybody’s lives. You’re not responsible for their lives. Just go with the flow. She’s always been so rigid, so uptight, so hard on herself.

If something she wants to do, go ahead and do it. Don’t be afraid of what other people think. Be happy. Don’t be so afraid, always looking back.

Go with friends who are happy. Don’t go back to the old ways. Go out and explore. She has so much fear. It started with her childhood. She has nothing to fear now. Everything is for the better, not stuck.

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After the session she said that she felt so much lighter and clearer. She instinctively was aware of being in the presence of a ‘higher authority’, thus the need to bow. “I feel very different, I want to change my name. That name had too much pain, fear and suffering.”

Sometimes the dreamer appears to channel the person they’re interacting with, who then refers to the dreamer in the third person and we proceed to discuss issues previously brought up. The dreamer is still present, listens in to the conversation and is able to ask further questions. There was this other one who quipped in with “yeah, I was going to ask that question too” 🙂

Don’t Kill The Lion

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Ride the Lion

I walked into an endless darkness and then I ended up in front of my house. That’s where I see my mom as she was 10 years ago. And she’s looking at me. I saw my dad. He’s even further away in the distance.

I’m still standing there (she starts to cry) I want to ask her “do you love me as a daughter?” She hugs me. She didn’t say anything. In that hug I feel very warm and it’s coming from her. It feels very safe. There is no more questions I want to ask. I think I have the answer.

I saw my grandmother, my father’s mom. She told me not to be afraid. She said I need to be brave. She said I have to make decisions on my own. Even if it upsets my mom. She said my dad would be fine. I told her I miss her a lot. Actually she already passed away (more tears). She says she is with me always. Her hand touches my head and she gives me a kiss on my forehead. And she points to the sky.

Next step is to find your life path, to experience who you are and what on earth you are doing here.

I’m standing on top of a mountain, like a cliff. And I can see a lot of mountains, rivers that are lower and sceneries. It feels kind of great and that I am a lion. I enjoy staying there. I feel like jumping off.

It feels weird, like I am in space. There are stars and it’s huge. There is someone who come to me. Not someone I know. He is wearing robes. We are kind of floating. He’s asking why am I there. He knows me and he’s taking me somewhere.

There are sheets of light floating in the air. It is very calm with lots of light. There are others dressed like him. He’s taking me to a cave and it is dark. He is taking me deep into the cave. There is an object shining very brightly and he passed it to me. It feels warm and he asked me to bring it back. He said I forgot to bring it. He said it will remind me of who I am.

I see the reflection on this thing and it is not my face. It is very warm, and it feels like I once dressed like him. Feeling very calm. And love, very strong sense of love. Still holding that thing. It is put into my body and it travels to my heart region. It is shining there in my heart. It feels very joyful. I feel a lot of energy flow.

I feel my heart just now and it was sad. I see a space and it looks like my heart. It looks very horrible, a lot of darkness, dirty, slimy, eee. Those dirty things are fading away. Like they are melting. They have disappeared.

There are pieces that when they melt hurt a bit. It’s kind of solid. He said it’s been there too long and that I did it to myself. Those wounds were cut by myself.

He put his palm on my shoulder. I feel like there is light shining through my body. Light is shining within my body but it fades when he removes his hand. He told me to put my hand on my heart and feel the thing. It is not as strong as when he did it but he says I need to practice. To feel it all the time. He said that it should not be on and off, it should be always on, that I was like that. He’s taking me out of the cave now, sending me off.

Ask why did you leave that space to come to earth

He shows me this this dark space and a path that is light, and I’m walking that path. And I need to walk it through. At the end of the path there is a door. He says that once I make it to the door I can come back to his space.

He say that I need to get something.  I saw myself walking on the path. And there are some flowers and grass and that is spiky. I’m walking on it barefoot and it is bleeding. And he says that I have to ‘get it’ once I’m on that path.  He said I chose to do it. To have to pass through this thorny path.

He said it is not the path that is thorny. That it is not about the path. It is about how I handle it. He said once I ‘get it’ the thorns will no longer be there. The reason why I feel the thorns is because I haven’t got it.

And your mom was part of this? 

Yes. The purpose is to learn about that thorny stuff and to love myself. He said don’t lose that thing again.

You saw yourself as a lion before. Can we have more information about that?

This is something about courage. He showed me an image of the lion standing there. And that it jumped and that was why I was brought to him. It was with courage that I was able to go to him. It seems the lion is representation of power and that jump was a leap of faith that opens up space.

He said keep it that way and don’t kill the lion. He said I tried to kill it. He showed me the image of the lion in a cage. I had a knife and I was hurting the lion. And the lion was in an iron cage. I looked a bit depressed, very sad and desperate. I told the lion I don’t need you anymore. That I’ll be fine without the lion.

Not being scared, don’t back off and leap. That’s how I came to him. And I need the lion to do that. It’s a part of me who brings me forward. It is something that pushes me forward. I kinda know when the lion is doing that, and not to ignore it. I need to ride it.

He said if I need him or need guidance, the lion will take me to him. Just ride the lion and the lion will charge somewhere far and I will rise to a place. He’s waiting there for me. He said I need to be sure that I wanted it otherwise I will not be able to get there.